A.M. In Every Day

You Ready?!?!

2010-05-20T01:37:00.001-04:00

Yea, so I'm gonna start blogging again!!!

2010-Blogs a Mess!!!

2010-02-23T02:50:00.001-05:00

Haven't blogged in a while, thinking bout getting back into it...wanna change the look though...
STAY TUNED!!!

Dia of Thanks!!!

2009-11-26T13:44:00.003-05:00

Funny I was just talking about Charlie Brown this morning &&&&&&&&&&&& he's a part of the GOOGLE sign.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Some Randomness :/

2009-11-25T00:12:00.000-05:00

Blogging via the blackberry, nothing really important to say except...let's see...I'm still alive.
Ummm...I'm looking forward to seeing the Google sign on Thurs, yea I know I'm a major lame lol.
Currently listening to the radio and I noticed that I don't know the words to any of the songs...sad man! I'm usually up on my lyric shittt lol. School has really got me under it's belt.
Anyhow, hope you guys are all doing well.

A Reflection...

2009-11-10T17:28:00.006-05:00

OH-M-GEE!!!! Where have I been right? sigh! Haven't really blogged since my birthday back in September...2 months ago. A bit has changed since then...Shall we start from the most important?!

I'm currently finishing up my FINAL TEMPLE EXPERIENCE & I'm loving it. When the semester started I was excited to get it over with, but as the time wares on I'm realizing that my college life will be over in a month, and that's it :/... :-)
My classes, like I shared before are Aerobics, American Lit 2, tennis, World literature( my senior sem class), and Law in American Society.

I bitched about Aerobics in the beginning but that class is so BITCHING lol ♥ it. I get my work out in man. American Lit 2 I could actually do w/o it but since it is a requirement for my major, I have no choice. As far as tennis goes, yo I'm bout to take Serena Williams out LOL...Not so much, but never the less the class is crazy fun and my game has improved. My Law class is okay, just a lot to remember. World Literature...HAWTT!!!! I'm actually enjoying writing my senior paper of 25 pages. I'm covering this novel...

Over all in the class we're studying authors who write cosmopolitan novels, ie world literature. I choose Adichie because I felt most connected to her and her Nigerian experience :-)

Besides school I'm just on my work grind... hoping to be promoted at my job once I gradute and head back to NYC. Don't really go home much though because I'm focused on what I need to get done here.

I think my friendships are suffering a bit, but it's all for the best right? They will have me back in a month.

Relationships? The boyfriend and I broke up a day after my birthday. Maybe I'll share that at another time...& so it goes :/

Living my dream. Besides all that. I found this song that is currently playing on my blog, I Choose You by Ryan Leslie.. ♥ it.

Where is that guy?! the one who will CHOOSE ME? I think I might just know... or maybe I don't hmm...

Gonna check your blog out now! Here I come!

It's The Cookie Monster!!!

2009-11-05T20:42:00.004-05:00

Haven't been around in awhile. Lots to share, but no time to share it :/

Cool GOOGLE sign though :)

:)

Happy Birthday 2 me; a Virgolicious Woman Pt.2

2009-09-10T13:36:00.003-04:00

This Virgolicious woman turned 22 today.. WOOPIEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I swear, my birthday is my favorite past time :) I'm just happy to be around another yr. This yr I just wanna keep things nice and simple. Let's see how that works out lol...but in the mean time, I like to think SHE Was singing this for me hehe...

My 21st yr is officially OVER! :/

2009-09-09T23:13:00.002-04:00

So my lovelies, it's my final hr. of being 21 :) Remember how it all started last yr? I was super excited, went to Vegas, did so much...it's funny how quickly a yr can fly by.

This birthday isn't going to be as specticular as the last one, but I'll still keep you guys posted. Just kinda want it to be simple. Looking forward to spending time with my closet friends and family.

I've been in this weird kinda mood today too...for this particular reason, and it's funny I would find a song to display it riggghtt? Here goes...

Ciara- I Found Myself

Seriously guys...I've been learning some serious lessons lately. I think the lesson of my 21st yr is
No one owes you ANYTHING!!!

I think the sooner people realize this...the happier we will all be because then we will stop depending on others for our happieness. Not a bad lesson to have learnt in my 21st yr huh...

wish me a KICK ASS introduction to 22!!!!!!

You Guys Didn't Think I forgot......

2009-09-04T19:32:00.013-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 MY BEY!!!!

The Rant...

2009-09-01T17:23:00.004-04:00

Hmm...how about alot to share with you guys. Don't know where to start. This post may not be coherent, just know that I tried.

Best news of all, I'm back in college for my final semester. Was finally able to pay my bill off, get my other classes counted, and haul my butt back to Philly. Taking 5 classes 2 of which are Tennis and Aerobics. Tennis is fun but the Aerobics lady wants us to run for miles. I'm so not with it, we gotta get her out of here.

Lately been feeling like the only person I can depend on is my mother. In fact, I know that's the way it is. Friends, significant others, everybody....they are all full of the BS. Everyone offers to help, and when it's actually time to...they are no where around.

Oh yea, other classes are Law something, an American Lit, and a Capstone which is World Literature. That's gonna be a presentation with a final paper which has to be 25 pages. Man, I just wanna be out of this bitch already. Dec can not come fast enough.

Left my job in NY gonna be working at the one in Philly. I'm working on a promotion when i get back to NYC so I'll be doing some training here. Let's see how that goes, because only god knows, I'm gonna need a way to pay off all those loans once college is over.

My boyfriend- I'LL LEAVE THAT TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY! I'm having a happy day right now.

More greats? It's finally September which means my birthday is only in 9days. 22 here i come. I love my bday dearly.

I'm beginning to feel like this is just a big blah...but I think it's the way I feel. Alot is going on in my life in no particular order................

PREGUNTA?

2009-07-22T00:43:00.003-04:00

WHY { INSERT CURSE WORD } are men not consistent?

Shit is mad annoying. It's like you meet a girl, try ya best to get her attention, do this do that, wife her, and then...SPLAT the excitment of it all is over. It's just all so fake to me. People will say whatever the hell they gotta do to get with ya ass and once they got you, that's it. Yo I'm tired of being the nice girlfriend to EVERYONE!!!! I see it over and over again, bitches get what they want and nice girls like myself...we get taken for granted...sigh

UGHHHH!!!!

Not The Best He Ever Had!!!

2009-07-13T23:42:00.002-04:00

WTF!!!!

What is this shit about. Here I am like, "Drake is my Boo, he can get it" & then he turns up with this whack shit. The video made noooooo sense, and he rapped like once verse sigh....

VIDEO REMAKE!!!!!

Sweet Dreams or More like a Nightmare?

2009-07-09T11:25:00.004-04:00

So I fell across my Bey's new video and I suppose I have mixed feelings about it. Check it out.

First off, she is always beautiful as usually. In fact, I feel like this album she looks really youthful. The dancing was cool, love it when she is always wineing up all over the place lol. Her waist and hips are sick!!!! did ya'll see that?

But seriously, her videos do bore me now. She is always on set somewhere. I mean i guess, if she wants to make a video for every song that's what she's gotta do, but it bores me. This one gets a 6 out of 10. She is Bey, and can do wayyyy better.

TODAY!

2009-07-04T08:34:00.001-04:00

I ♥ it

Happy Independence Day!!!!

It's My Bey!!!

2009-06-16T19:57:00.006-04:00

You know, no matter what kind of day I'm having, seeing this woman always cheers me up. New video,

Beyonce-Broken Hearted Girl

I'm Back... For Good!!!

2009-05-18T09:53:00.000-04:00

Whose been horrible blogger? I've been a horrible blogger. I think I've just been too lazy to do it. Won't even say its from being busy, because I'm writing this as I journey to work on the subway. Anyhow, I'll give you guys a mini rundown.

Well...it's Monday morning folks and I'm sick. Didn't really want to go to work but decided it would be best if I went. Things were so bad yesterday{shout out to the best BFF ever who stayed w/ me all day}, I was gonna go to the ER, thankfully I'm feeling a bit better now.

Work has been work, been putting in a lot of hours there which may account for me not feeling so well.
School's almost over, took one of my finals, business management, on Sat. Morning. It was eaaassssyyyyy!!!! :) just one more to take tomorrow morning, Philosophy, and I'll be school freeee!!!! SIKE! I'm actually trying to take four classes this summer, anything to be done by December. {Side note: damn it just missed my 2nd train, guess I'm def gonna be late for work...oh welllzzzz}

Things are still going awesomely well with the boyfriend, did I tell you guys he is like too good to be true?!?!?! I love it. I'm gonna go out there and say, I think this is my first grown up relationship. We have an awesome time together and respect each other's time, space, and individuality...something I've never had in the past. Plus, he spoils me like the brat I truly am. Adore him!

I guess that's it for now and once I get home I'm catching up on EVERYONE'S blog.
Adios mis amigos!

MOMMIES!!!!

2009-05-10T22:31:00.002-04:00

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Isn't that the truth though ya'll. I can honestly say my mom and I fall in and out all the time. sometimes I may forget how to voice how much she means to me, but the tune is truly always in my heart. That being said, Happy Mother's Day to my mommy and all you blog mommies out there.

But wait, you guys didn't think I forgot riiggghhhtt...

I thought the particular google sign was so soft, feminine, and so mommyish :^) ♥ it/

Weekend Wash

2009-05-06T11:19:00.003-04:00

The weekend was a wash and I mean that literally. It really rained alllll weekend. It started since Friday and hasn't stopped since. Consequently, we couldn't even take the doggy to the park on Sunday morning but we did make it to the baby shower, which was iight. Sat went to class and did dinner with my boyfriend...just the regular and Fri shopped with the BFF, always a good time.

This week has been a quiet one, especially since the rain has been here. School is fun though. Later on, I'm gonna share a philosophy theory I learned with you guys...loves it. I think if we all thought that way, we would be way happier people.

Catch ya'll later :)

I've Been Tagged!!!

2009-05-03T21:54:00.003-04:00

I was tagged by my dearest Vixen, so here gooooeess...

8 Thing I'm Looking Forward To:

1) Graduating in December with my bachelors...can't wait man.
2) Starting grad school right after that

3) My 22nd birthday...
4) The presents I will receive on my 22nd birthday lol
5) Going to Thailand sometime in the future
6) Starting the magazine :/
7) Being in love :) I've got an excellent candidate in my BF
8) Having that, "yep! I'm good" feeling.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1) Went to my 9am sat morning class :/
2) Told my whack ass manager off...yep! :)
3) Enjoyed my boyfriend ;)
4) Had great Thai food with that said boyfriend :)
5) Re bumped my hair cause the rain made it flat...running out of things here lol

6) Took 4 showers. 1 in the morning, 1 before umm...1 after umm... And 1 to go
to bed :-)
7) Played sorority life.
8) Woke up in the middle of the night to clean my ears cause they itched

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1) Go to beyonce's summer concert
2) Be done with school this semester
3) Go someplace where its nice and warm with pretty beaches.
4) Give my boyfriend a hug
5) Find an interesting book to read
6) Not let stupid ass people determine what mood imma be in
7) See my baby cousins and favorite aunt in Guyana
8) Be in my warm bed right now(I'm blogging via the subway)

8 Shows That I Watch:

1) American idol
2) Lie to me
3) The #1 ladies detective
4) The golden girls
5) Anything on lifetime

6) The Cosby show
7) We TV bridal everything-platinum weddings, bridezilla etc.
8) Vh1 jump start. Awesome videos.

I'm tagging Jillian, Amber Alert and my sis KMX
Have fun ladies!!!

This Weekend

2009-05-01T23:11:00.003-04:00

Iight!!! The weekend is here again, and I've got a neeewww agenda. As we speak, I'm working on my take home business management exam, but I guess I'm not since I'm blogging.

Tmorrow, Saturday, Imma just take my ass to that 9 a.m. class AGAIN, then venture off to work. After, UUUUUUUUU know what I'm gonna do!?!?! Spend some time with the boyfriend. We've had a busy week and haven't seen each other since Monday, so tomorrow we're gonna probably grab something to eat and do some "catching up" hehe.

Sunday, my one and only day off, the BFF and I are going to yet another baby shower but we're also gonna take her doggy Dominoe to a doggy event in Central Park. Can't wait. Definitely will be taking pictures.

Besides all that stuff, today was an okay day. Went to work, rocked it there, and then went out with my BFF. We just chilled, went to the book store, that kinda thing. It was kinda pouring in the NYC today though.

Oh yea, I went to Pet Co and ate a doggy cookie hahahhahahah. It taste like real food ya'll.

Anyhow, see you guys on Monday, and HAPPY MAY!!!!!

Weekend Fun

2009-05-01T01:45:00.004-04:00

I'm getting really sucky at this blogging thing huh? Like seriously, I'm about to update you guys on last weekend, and the new weekend is here.

Anyways, like I said I had a dinner/movie date with the BF. I sure do love me some

California Pizza Kitchen

I got my Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza as usually and my BF got a Thai pizza. If you guys have never been, you really should go :)

After that, we ventured over to like the only theatre that wasn't sold out and saw

I don't care what any of ya'll say, it was really good and I think she did a good job. I think it's just hard for people to differentiate between her and whomever she is playing because DUHHHHH, she's Beyonce. My boyfriend said it was another version of swim fan, but he liked it none the less...think it was because he was with me :) lol.

On Saturday I went to class, work, and then ventured off to one of my close friends baby shower.

Proud Mommy to be

Daddy to be loving the present I got them

Awww...she even cried, all those hormones lol

and there was lots of laughs too

Us Girls!!! guess who is the only one not prego in this pic. Ya damn straight, MY ASSSS :)

New friend, Cece

Yep, I sure did enjoy that 85 degree weather while it lasted

After that, Sunday was a drag. Mother nature slapped me in the face, but it's okay cause after that baby shower with all those other prego women...it was exactly what I needed.

Can't wait for this wknd!!!

Tears?

2009-04-27T03:06:00.002-04:00

3:06 AM and I'm still up :/ Was actually gonna wait to post until tomorrow to give you guys a highlight of my weekend, but something happened.

I couldn't sleep at all so I got on FB. I'm telling you, I'm really beginning to hate that site. It shares too much with me that I'm not concerned with knowing. As I was looking over my home page, I came across an ex's photo album that just got me sooo upset. Weirdest thing, I even cried...what the hell was that about. I mean I swear, i love where my life is right now. I have an awesome boyfriend who gives me butterflies every time I see him and he treats me better than anyone I've ever been wit, so the reason for the tears are unexplainable. But then again I also cried while watching two different shows tonight so maybe this might have something to do with my little gift mother nature bestowed upon me today...hmph. I sure hope so because a yr after all that bullshit, I'm so not tryna revisit n e of it.

Yea, It's Da Wknd Baby!!!

2009-04-24T02:42:00.003-04:00

3AM blogging, yep that's me. Nothing really new. Just gearing up for the weekend...ITZZZZZ FRIDAY!!! Let's see, what do I have planned...

For one, it's pay day, which is always a good thing even though my check is already gone and it's not even in my hands yet. Friday's work as usual, but as soon as I get done, it's date night with the BF...he really rocks my world guys :)

On Saturday gonna drop in on my Business class at 9am-yep sucks- and then venture off to work for a bit. After that, did someone say Baby Shower Time?!?!?! Yep, my friend Jodi is having a baby girl, Madison, and her babyshower is on Saturday afternoon. After that, I might chill with my co-worker at some sort of function which is suppose to have lots of Jamaican food. I'm already seeing Imma be needing to wear some nice flowy tops this wknd lol.

Sunday is gonna be a day off, but since I have a test on Tuesday, I will probably use it for studying from the comforts of my bed.

Did I mention it's gonna be beautiful on these days???? Well it is, 80 degree weather baby. Soooooo, I think I'm just gonna be a picture whore this weekend especially since I'm gonna be seeing all my girlfriends...WOOP WOOP

These Are My Plans, & I'm Sticking To Them!!!

1/2 Way Through April...

2009-04-15T23:54:00.003-04:00

SMH hard that this is actually my first post for the month of April and it's half way through. The quickest update ever, since I'm actually not in the blogging mood.

-My BFF turned 25 two weeks ago. That went well. Her other BFF and I took her to a Spa and we did some other birthday things. No pictures!

- Last weekend went to Atlantic City with the BF. Good times, and very relaxing. Got to do some shopping, relax, and just have fun with each other. No pictures!

-Work is good. I've been having more responsibilities their lately, makes the job more interesting.

Yep, and I think that was pretty much my last three weeks...sigh

What you guys been up to since I've been MIA?

Partna Lemme Up Date Ya!

2009-03-31T00:47:00.003-04:00

so where have i been since Thursday?

Ahh the weekend was calm. Just went to work, my usual deal. Fri was pay day, woop woop! Except I can't find my check, never got direct deposit...don't quite like it, I know it's silly. Hopefully I'll find it soon cause a girl needs her dough.

Sat instead of going to school i slept in, yep, probably as my professor did the week before last when she missed class. Hung out with the boyfriend in the morning, went to work, and then after did our Apple Bee's ritual for dinner...

!!!

Sunday was a regular day, volunteered to go to work, put my hours in there, and went on home. Today was pretty much the same.

On a brighter note my BFF's B-Day is on Thurs and I'm super excited. Hopefully we can make her day a bit special. she always has a b-day dinner on Sat, so we'll see how that goes...sure it's gonna be fun.

Well off to doing more nothingness with myself, just thought I should stop in and up date you guys

Please Don't Stop the Music

2009-03-26T22:36:00.003-04:00

Soo I'm listening to music, and they are some random songs I just can't get enough of. Maybe cause I can place them at different phases of my life. For example phase 1:

Jamie Foxx, Overdose

Where the hell were you guys when I was on that "him" drug, thank god that shit is ova. but LUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVsss this song.

Went into my phase 2 of thinking

Letoya Luckett, Not Anymore

Yep...Finally realized, " i deserve somebody that'll treat me right."

& now, I think I might have just found him...

Keri Hilson, Knock you down.

Yess my friends, my ass is currently on the floor.

The latter of the songs, usually when I'm listening to it, I just think, "awww it's nice to really care for someone that much," but seeing the video puts a completely new spin on the song. The video version was def my life 2 months ago. Happy i picked "my Neyo" ♥...sorry Kanye!

Another Monday pt 2.

2009-03-24T00:10:00.004-04:00

Today was an awesome day. I got to sleep in until 11am because i didn't have to go to work until later. Things got even better when I got there and found out that I'm one of the top sellers in Manhattan, yet again. I beat some more ass in sales and journeyed on to see the BF.

Tonight was movie date night and weeeee decided to see...

It was good enough. Kinda started off slow, didn't really like that. However, once the action got started, it was grrreeeaatt!!!

Besides that, just here at 12:40am getting ready for my Tuesday. School then work. Hope your Tuesday is ultra fab :)

Emailing Is Da New Craze Gurl, Try It!!!

2009-03-21T09:45:00.000-04:00

You guys won't believe this BS. I have a sat morning 9am class. I take the subway to school, NYC ya know.

My train was super messed up today. It usually takes me 25 mins to school, today it took me an hour and 10mins.

WHY IS CLASS CANCELED???

Has home girl never heard of emailing? I could have been asleep for at least an additional 4 hrs. And to top it off, I switched with a bunch of people at work today because I wanted to go in right after class. Now I have two hrs of nothing to do. Can't even do shopping. Stores do not open at 9am.

Anyhow, its whateva. My outing yesterday with the bestie was the best. Awesome times, can't wait until her birthday which is in less than 2 weeks. Woop Woop :)
Happy Saturday ya'll :)

WHOOOOPYYYYY!!!!

2009-03-20T12:00:00.004-04:00

It's the first day of SPRINNGG!!

The 1st Day of Spring Google Sign ♥ it

So to celebrate, I'll be doing laundry on my 1st day off in 11 days, stuffy nose and all :/ lol...Nah, that's not the highlight of my day. Gonna actually meet up with my BFF. We're gonna do some light shopping and then get some Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen, I love that place.

Hope you guys are enjoying your Friday. What chu up to???

Hump Day...

2009-03-18T22:26:00.002-04:00

...Well over the hump day that is. It's Wednesday, and I'm sick again less than 2 months later. I have a stiff neck, WTF is that about?! My throat hurts, but that thera flu stuff really works, and my head is banging sooo hard. Tough times man.

Anyway, the day was a retarded one, except for when I got to see My Conway, the BF. Went to work, it was overbearing, and I'm starting to not like it there. It's like an effin' blonde take over. chick came up to me today all apologizing. I guess after she found out she was wrong. Told her how I felt and left it like that.

Came home with my head hurting and then My Conway came over and kept me company...Yep he's the best. After that i took a nap, watched some Top Model, Lie to Me, and American Idol.

Anyhow, Imma get back to my neck exercises right now cause it really hurts :/

Night guys!

You Can Hate Me Now...

2009-03-17T22:29:00.003-04:00

For everyone who expects this from me here goessss

Happy St. Patty's Day Guuuyyyss

To be honest though, I didn't even know it was St. Patricks Day until I got to work around 12, SMH. Today was kind of a sucky day. I went to school, that was okay except I felt sick all day, until I went to work. Work always makes me feel better, I know crazzy right?! Except, when I got there the drama started to unfold.

So I have this blonde co-worker who got the job because she knows our District Manager. She get hours no one else gets, well except for me cause I'm so great hahaa, and has been flaunting around for the last two weeks.

Anyhow, I am usually our top seller, but it doesn't matter to me because we get NOTHING for that. Well this little lady came and got to be top seller because I went away for 4 days remember? I came back to work and obviously regained my spot. You know what this heffa did, told my manager that I stole her sale of a suit.

EXCCCCCCCCCCCCCUUUUUUUUUUUUSEEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Nah, homey you got the wrong one. I told my manager straight up, "I asked him if anyone helped him, he said no, and I put it under the house number which is certainly not my number." What a sore loser. I hate stuff like that because I am always on the go at work and I work hard because I'm a sociable person who loves to help others. Now Imma be at work tomorrow with the ill tude like, "let's see who is gonna sell $4,000 for ya ass in one day now!"

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.....

Remember these quotes I gave from back in Jaunary...

The next time u have an opportunity to be offended, think of it as an opportunity to develop your character

When u allow what someone says to offend u, you're giving away your power.

I am certainly not going to give away my power. In fact, this inspires me. Now I'm gonna do even better, luvs it :)

like my homey Mase says, "you can hate me noww....." ya'll know the rest lol.

Another Monday

2009-03-16T23:08:00.004-04:00

Before I get into it, you know what I've noticed? Everyone in the blogging world is slowly starting to fade away. No one blogs anymore :/

But anyway, I'm trying to keep up with it just a little bit. Today was good. Work, came home, and then went out to dinner with my boyfriend. Always good times with him :)

Had my 2nd favorite guy, daddy comes first ALWAYZZZ, my favorite thai food, and good laughs. What more could a girl ask for.

I ♥ it :)

My Letter to the World

2009-03-15T13:07:00.000-04:00

Dear World,

I'd like to point out to everyone out there, I'm a woman but at times I'm still a girl. I'm a 21 year old who has honestly never had any major issues. Sure I've had a heartbreak here or there, but everyone has to go through those.

My family life is great, I have awesome friends, I do well with my goals and ambitions, and for the most part, I get along well with others.

I think this is when people try to put me on a pedestal. Hello to everyone out there, can I pllllleeeeaaasseeee be allowed to mess up too!!!. I'm still learning.

I don't always know how to handle situations well but I try. I can honestly say, the things that I do or might have done do not come from a place of hate, anger, or intentional dishonesty...it simply comes from a place of inexperience.

Sometimes, In making the right decision for myself, I go about executing it in the wrong way, for that.... I am sorry.

I'm a work in progress ya know, and my mistakes have just started being made. All I can do, is learn from them and move on.

Sincerely,
A.M.

No HO, You Turnin' Me Off!!!

2009-03-10T00:04:00.002-04:00

Okay, so everyone knows I'm the biggest Bey obsessor ever. Like we're really gonna get married one day and have 10 kids lol. This chick Keri Hilson, I was actually feeling her too. I even had her "Turning Me On" song on my blog for a lil bit. But yea, she has officially turned me off, how bout that.

Homey reall went and made a diss song towards my Bey, SMH.

Take a listen

NOT COOL!!!

I actually liked her, but that's over. The support is done with and if that was some sort of scheme for publicity or to sell records, come on...how many Beyonce fans did you just loose..ahh LOTS homey. IT was just retard.

Okay, I've vented. Besides that stuff. I'm back from GA, studying for a Philosophy exam, so I'll be sure to be back really soon.

:)

The Run Down

2009-03-05T08:39:00.003-05:00

I've been gone for 2 whole weeks and have missed you guys like CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Don't even know where to start, but I guess school would be good.

As you guys know I'm not at Temple this semester but I am taking two classes while I am at home, just to keep my brain active ya know. I love my business management class, makes me wanna smack my ill equip managers every time I see them SMH. Philosophy is CRAZZZZYY, truly gives you lots to think about. I like that class a lot. Speaking of managers though, work is crraazzzy, can you guys tell that's my new word.

Life at Club Monaco I tell ya. Managers are getting fired left, right, and center. I hate having to adjust to new bosses who obviously don't know your needs. Thank God I'm dipping out just in time because...

I've got a 4:40 PM flight out of this bitch of an ice box called NY. Yes, my lovelies, I'm going to GA today and super excited about it :) My daddy is graduating from a medical program, sooooo proud of the man, he's worked soooo hard over the last four years. his graduation is tomorrow so I'm making my way on down. Excited to see him, my family, and my God sister. Best part though the weather there is in the 70's It's gonna be 75 tomorrow and 77 on Sat....CRAZZZZYYYYY lol. Can't wait, especially for the awesome food. Speaking of food though...

I've been eating A LOT of it lately. I can just feel my ass and thighs getting bigger, but i must say...I likey hehe.

Biggest news of all though, 2 things. I'm starting a magazine, it's something I've been wanting to do for about 2 yrs now but finally feel inspired enough to do it. I'll be launching it as a website so you guys can look out for that sometime in the spring. Other news, I've got a boyfriend now. He's awesome and I'm super excited about him. I guess I'm super excited about a lot these days huh!

See that smile on my face? It's a niccee genuine one :)

That's everything summed up in a nutshell, will be sure to go into details on a few things next time around. Off to your blogs I go :)

P.S. Yes everyone, i did see the google sign for Dr Seuss' birthday. Super wanted to blog that day just to share it hehe.

Untitled Pt. 1

2009-02-19T00:08:00.000-05:00

Awww man. So here I am again. Haven't really been blogging so much during the month of Feb. It's not from a lack of info to share though, their is actually A LOT to tell, just can't right now.

Besides that, just here blogging via my blackberry as I study for my 1st business management test on Sat.

What have you guys been up to?

My Happy Ending!

2009-02-15T23:24:00.008-05:00

So Friday night I went to see "Friday After Next," but of course it was sold out so I ended up seeing

It was actually really good, that movie is the truth, and should be the bible on how to treat men...FA REAL!!! It kind of reminded me of the book obviously but had a lot of input of that book, "How to Think Like A guy" as well. I recommend it. I always come away with stuff from movies, well ones with a narrative voice anyway. Words I got from this one?

Maybe the happy ending is...Moving On.

what does that mean to me?
Moving on is definitely a good thing. A person can be stuck in a situation and he/she will hang on because he/she thinks it may get better or he/she is just too scared to move on. Well moving on can be your happy ending because you're no longer stuck in that situation and you're free to explore new things,new people, not limit youtself, and i guess just be happy...

my happy ending has finally arrived ;-)

XOXOXOXO

2009-02-14T02:44:00.002-05:00

you guys know I had to do it, i ♥ these signs.

Happy Valentines Day my lovlies. I hope you all know not just today, but everyday I love you guys!!!

IIGHT!!!

2009-02-13T01:45:00.004-05:00

It'a 1:44 in the AM, and I'm listening to my favorite Rap songs. The people who know me would never think I'd be into these songs, but I like to think of them as my guilty pleasures. I am against everything they represent. Pimping, hoeing, tricking, cheating, degrading, BUT I EFFIN' ♥ them!!!!

#1 Lil Wayne- Workin em

#2 jim Jones- Baby Girl

#3 - Lil Wayne Brand New

#4 - Jay Z, Song Cry

#5. T.I Freak Though

Freak Though (Featuring Pharrell) (Explicit Album Version) - T.I.
okay here goes a #6

Currency, Where The Cash At

One Sick Puppy

2009-02-11T10:33:00.004-05:00

Okay so I take that back about the sore throat germ kicking rocks. I think him and all the other germs in my body need to jump off a cliff.

Yesterday I bought some Tylenol Cold Multi Symptoms, used it in the day time, and still didn't feel better. Hence, work was miserable. However, when I got home, I had a pack of Tera Flu with the Tylenol Cold night time and was OUUUUTTTT!!!

Good part is, I woke up this morning feeling better. My throat doesn't hurt anymore, it's just all clogged up now and itches. I'll take itching over burning any day though. Ugh, but now I also have a cough, head hurts a bit, and I don't feel so energetic.

Off to work I go though, gotta, even though I'm

<
One Sick Puppy

Where Have I Been You Ask Pt 2.

2009-02-10T17:14:00.000-05:00

Effin' sick and it sucks. All I wanna do is crawl into my bed but that obviously isn't an option with me having school and work today.

Mannnn, I hope the sore throat germ kick rocks!

It's The Weekend...Well kinda!

2009-02-07T10:25:00.000-05:00

It's the weekend but might as well be a week day. Here I am, sitting in my 9am Saturday morning, business management class. Its a pretty cool class, but you guys know how early Saturday mornings go. But my day doesn't end there, of course not.

After this, off to work I go. At least at the end of the day, I know I get to spend time with MY mystery guy(note to self I've gotta stop calling him that)

Tomorrow's a day off though. I've made the decision that I need to stop being so available to my job. Sunday is gonna be my one day where I don't have to work, don't have to go to school, just do things that interest me; like work on my special project.
Let's see how that all works out and this weekend.

What are you doing this weekend?

Where have I Been You Ask?

2009-02-04T11:12:00.003-05:00

...Here, there, and everywhere! School has started as you guys know. The professors are major coolzz and the topics are fun. Just not looking forward to the test. As an English major, I write papers. Test taking isn't really my thing :/

Works okay, I get the hours I need to pay my bills.

Mystery guy is blowing my mind, ♥ him. We've been spending a lot of time together and he makes me really happy. That's all you get :)

Speaking of Mystery Guy after we watched the Super Bowl on Sunday, Poor Cardinals, we also watched my new favorite Sunday night show, Joel Osteen.

Sunday he simply spoke of how we limit ourselves when we really shouldn't. Don't stay in the well when you can venture into the pond, lake, river, or even Ocean :)He advices that we should stretch our faith. It's simple, if your vision increases, your ability to receive increases.
Pretty good words huh!
I'm out!

Check it Out!

2009-01-30T12:05:00.004-05:00

WEll my lovlies, it's Friday...Woop Woop!!! It is the day of pay and I couldn't be any happier. Things are really working out over here. Except for my little friend who came to visit today.

Been listening to new music lately, and I'm really feeling these three songs.

Tierra Marie Ft. Pleasure P- Hung 4 You

Always liked Tierra Marie. She came out at the same time as Rihanna, but didn't quite get the love she deserved...here she goes again though, and i like it :)

But speaking of Rihanna, who insist on calling herself ReRe, she has a new song as well.

Rihanna- Emergency Room

This song is crazzzzyyy cool. the lyrics actually make me laugh, luvs it :)

but throwing a guy into the mix, I really appreciate Ryan Leslie, and this song is hot

Ryan Leslie- How It Was Suppose to Be

Besides the songs, last night I saw

I ♥ it!!! It was so funny, sad, inspiring, and real. I recommend it 110%.
I walked out the movie theartre a bit upset though. The ignorance that resides in the world is heartbreaking. Him and Pac could have been even more great than they already were.

It's okay though becausee....

the mystery guy was there to save the day, he was good movie company

Hope you guys enjoy Super Bowl Weekend, WOOP WOOP!!!!

Who are you cheering for?

A Crazy Kinda Week

2009-01-28T11:48:00.001-05:00

Well my lovelies...I'm bacckk!!!!

Its been a very long week, and its only Wed morning. Here's what's new.
Although I've made the decision to take a semester off from Temple, I've also decided to take a few classes at a local college in NYC. Although it was a chore getting in, I was able to as a result of my Uncle teaching there. It's only two classes,business management and a philosophy. However, taking those two, I will be able to take a few in the summer, and then finish up my last semester at TU in the fall :) that worked out nicely.

I received a better job opportunity, full time, but with school I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. It's right up my alley in the communications field. Hopefully its still something I can get into.

Besides that stuff, just happy that things are working out. Now that I'm settled at work and school is in order, I can start on my special project :)

Off to your blogs I go. I've got some catching up to do :)

Random: Pt. I Lost Count

2009-01-25T02:17:00.003-05:00

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

This was the quote I used the other day by Dr. King. I never really got into why it speaks to me, but it really does.

Since the last semester ended, I have been doing everything in my power to get back into school. However, that wasn't working out so I took a leap of faith and decided to stay home hoping everything would work out okay. So far, a lot of positives have happened. They are still in the process of going through, and if they do happen for me, I will be sure to tell you all about it.

I was watching my favorite Sunday evening show again, its my little time I have to connect with the man upstairs, and that message was also a good one.

His topic this week was personal happiness, and here are a few quotes I like from that one:

-No person can take your joy, you have to give it away

-Never pray for god to change somebody else, ask for ya self.

-You've got to be determined to enjoy your life.

-When u allow what someone says to offend u, you're giving away your power.

-Accept the fact that no matter what you do, somebody won't be at peace with you

-You are an eagle. Don't waste your time fighting with crows. Just rise to an altitude the can't. iight, iight lol

The nexr time u have an opportunity to be offended, think of it as an opportunity to develop your character

Good stuff huh?!

On to the random! Yesterday I was getting on the train and this little kid was having a conversation with him mom, the cutest experience ever.

Kid: mommy I wish Obama was my daddy.

Mom: me to

Kid: really mommy, I love Obama.

Now that's something right there :-)

Seems a lot of movies are out right now right?! For some reason I find myself wanting to see all the chic flicks, which are totally making a comeback, might I add. I saw

Luvs its. I've always liked Anne and Kate. Anne in

&

and Kate in

Looking forward to seeing

&

"He's Just Not That Into You," also happens to be a book, did ya know?
I got the book about 4 yrs ago, and lemme tell you guys, its da truth. I suggest it to any of you.

Well so long...& enjoy your Sunday. I have a date to see the Biggie movie :)
CIAO

You Must Not Know Bout Me

2009-01-24T02:22:00.001-05:00

Alrighty guys. I had a really cool post for you all, but you know shit happens so I feel the need to share this instead.

Like I've said, I'm taking the semester off at Temple and found someone to take over my room in my apartment. The ad I put up said the rent would be 650 furnished, and the person would be able to move in and start paying rent in Feb since I already payed the rent for January.

Found someone and she agreed to all the terms. The rent is really 600 but I added on 50 dollars for my furniture. I guess my whack ass roommate informed her that it's really 600 so now home girl decides to only deposit 1,200 into my account oppose to 1,300. When I asked her why, she said she thought the rent was 600.

1st WTF moment.

How could you think that? The post said 650, I told you 650, and you agreed to it. Then she goes, "well I thought the 50 dollars was for the furniture." So I straight up told her, "look! it's 650, what are you going to do? This is the way I wanted to rent my apartment and if you don't like it you have plenty of time to leave. You pretty much agreed on a price with me, moved into my house, decided what you wanted to pay, and then dictated that to me."

NAH HOMEY THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

So i text her at like 1am-my bad- and said I would be coming to get my stuff tomorrow morning at 9am. Sorry abut the inconvenience but it's the only time my parents could make to come and if I don't get to come tomorrow, I don't know when I will be able to get my things.

This bitch tells me, "you can get your things, but I will be asleep. It's inconsiderate for you to come at 9 in the morning. All of your stuff is packed up in the living room" In other words, you can't come in the room.

Yea, she must have fell and bumped her head.

I have payed the rent, cable, and lights for January which is still not over, and she is living it out for free, still didn't deposit her extra 50 dollars, and she is telling me that she can't wake up for 5 mins to have me inspect the room and sign the agreement.

I swear, if I was some kind of hood bitch she would be getting her ass kicked tomorrow morning at 9:00AM sharp. Now my mom is all upset about it and is really like, we have no problem giving her her money back and finding someone else because shit is ridiculous.

Don't even know why she made a big deal about it because regardless, I'm gonna do what I have to do tomorrow.

IIGHT!!!

President Barack Obama- He Ran So I Could Fly!!!

2009-01-21T01:43:00.001-05:00

I love it that he is so personable & am so super proud to call him my president.
President Barack Obama, He's a Good look!

Breaking News!!!!

2009-01-20T17:25:00.002-05:00

The Bestie has been found

& everything is A-Okay

Oh Where Oh Where Could My PYT Be!

2009-01-20T09:51:00.000-05:00

Alrighty my BFF has gone MIA. Seriously, it's the weirdest thing. We talk everyday and its been three days since the last time we spoke. Worst part, I've called, texted, FB her, and no response. Not like her at all, its got me feeling like somethings wrong :-/

If I don't get a response by noon 2day, A.M. Is on the case.

Have you seen P.Y.T.?

Faith

2009-01-19T23:53:00.003-05:00

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

These words couldn't be anymore true. With so much that has been going on in my life, highlighting these words for me is very important. Dr King was truly a great man with an influencial mind, heart and spirit.

Don't feel like blogging much today, but I felt it imperitive to do this :)

Everyday is Like Sunday

2009-01-18T16:44:00.002-05:00

Today is turning into a pretty good day guys.

For one, let me start off by welcoming my new baby cousin into the world...YAY!!! My favorite aunt just had her 4th child last night and I'm sooooo super excited. I love him already :-). He's all the way in Guyana though so I don't know when I will be able to meet him. Probably not until the end of the year. :/ She has made an attempt to pick out a name for him, but we all think its whack, so hopefully she finds something better. Pictures coming soon ;)

On to the next, the birds are at war and these birds

wooped that Eagle ass. Woop woop!!! Soooo excited. I'm a sore loser okay, and since the Eagles took my Giants out last week, I'm all about revenge. In my book, I could care less who wins the Super Bowl, cause it ain't gonna be my team BUT guess what? It won't be the Eagles either hahhahah. K I'm done. What else.

I'm seeing someone.

Nah, you guys don't get more information than that lol...maybe later.

Just got in from work, gonna wrap my day up with some cleaning, laundry, and research for my special project. Be sure to share that with you guys soon as well.
Hope your Sunday is going as well as mine :-)

A Grown Up Kinda Day

2009-01-17T13:04:00.001-05:00

So my day yesterday went went well. I wrapped everything up and went back to my house in an attempt to hide out from the 6 degree NYC weather. I swear, I think my brain is frozen, I hate it.I've always been a summer girl, so I'm officially starting my countdown to summer and their is only 4 months to go in my book.

I accomplished a good 99 percent of the things I wanted to do yesterday though, so that's good. The girl actually liked the apartment so now I don't have to worry about that anymore, just getting into school, which gives me extremely heavy boots.

I met up with my bff like I said I would, and it was nice catching up. Her newly married life has kept her kind of busy and we don't ever see each other anymore. So, over extremely cheap Thai food we had lunch and caught up. It was pretty good. We made a promise to try and do something together at least once per month :-)

Well my lovelies. I think I will wrap this up now. I'm out and about in the freezing ass city again, you think I would have learned my lesson from yesterday.

What are your plans for this weekend?

Some Kind of Friday

2009-01-16T14:04:00.000-05:00

ello my lovely bloggers and blogettes. Its the weeeekend, but yet a busy as hell friday. A few updates on life?

I faced everything that was bothering me head on and was able to figure somethings out.

For school, I spoke with my uncle and he said I should pick some classes out that will be transferable back to Temple, and go to the school here in NYC and try to register as soon as possible. He says if I have any problems with that process, just give him a call :-)

Another problem was finding someone to replace me at my apartment in philly. My half of the rent is 600 and I surely don't wanna be paying that while I'm living in NY, that makes no sense. Luckily, my roommate is okay with it. I put a post up on creighlist's, a sophomore responded, and she's going to see the house today. Let's cross our fingers that she likes it because I really don't want to be paying rent there in february.

Hopefully if this alll works out, I will be able to save an extra 800 dollars every month until Sept which would be AWESOME!!!

Besides that stuff, today is pay day. Woop Woop. And even though a cool 90 percent of my check is going to bills, I'm still thankful that I will be able to pay it.

To all my blogging homies out there with kids- ya'll get MAJOR props for doing such an awesome job. I don't know how you guys do it. Its such a struggle taking care of myself while trying to finance my life and school, getting help from my parents. You guys inspire me.

So off to bill paying I go. I'm actually meeting up with one of my BFFs today as well. Haven't seen her since my birthday in sept, so it should be nice.

Lots more to share, believe it or not. Soooooo... I'll be back :-)

Sometimes...

2009-01-15T12:30:00.001-05:00

...when something scares me, I run and hide from it. That way I don't have to deal with the pressure and possibility of failure.

The Desire!

2009-01-14T12:18:00.004-05:00

God will never give you the desire with out the ability.

I love how all my quotes are coming into use. So remember I told you guys I had important news to share with my mom. Well I told her.

As you guys know, I attend Temple U in Philly. My financial aid from last year SUCKED. Therefore, fall semester my bill got out of hand. I still owe my school that money. So in order to go back this semester, I would have to pay that obscene amount off and then still have to pay the same thing for Spring semester. so...

I decided to take the semester off :(

God knows it's something I don't want to do, because I LOVE school. However, since I live in NYC I was thinking during the months off while I get my bill together, there is lots of things I could do. Like find an internship, work on my writing, and work on a SPECIAL PROJECT :) , tell you guys more about that later.

But like I said, "God will never give you the desire without the ability," and luckily he has given me the ability to be resourceful. My Uncle is a professor at a CUNY here in NY. So instead of going back to Temple this semester, hopefully I can take classes at his college, save myself about $8,000, and not have to take the semester off. I would be in NY and able to still do an internship and work.

I'm so excited that things SEEEEM to be working out. Those of you who believe in prayer, please say one for me. I'd appreciate it. I really want to do my thing, and be done with school. It's sad that in our society today, a person can't even go to school when they want to...

Keep Your Fingers Crossed Guys

Sleepy Eyes

2009-01-13T23:44:00.003-05:00

Today was a loooong day, too sleepy to type. Tell you more tomorrow.

Sweet dreams

Cause I'm Dreamin' Pt.3

2009-01-12T13:44:00.001-05:00

The weekend is finally over, and its time to get back to the business of the week. Just worked this weekend. Changed my hair color to black cause the brown has been boring me lately. Watched my Giants get there ass kicked by the whackass eagles which is very heartbreaking.All of my teams are officially out, so there goes my football season, a big effin" flop. Besides that stuff I've been dreaming a lot, AGAIN, lately. Last night I seriously had 3 dreams in a row.

The first, summed up, dealt with nail polish. In my dream, my job had a spa. My manager went to the spa and wanted to use this nude nail polish, couldn't find it, and asked around, "does anyone know where the polish went?" Just then my co worker volunteers that she saw me STEAL the polish, so my boss gives me a write up. However, it was obvious in my dream that she was lying but she's a co worker I actually like. I was all crying and stuff because I knew I didn't steal the polish. Weird dream.
Meaning of Dream
Couldn't find it :/
Then I drempt that I was pregnant, which also made me sad. I had this big ass belly...ugh. It was gross. And not to sound ignorant like pregnancy is disgusting, because then I would be a dumb ass. I just feel like, their is a right time for everything, and its not MY time for that yet.

Meaning of Dream
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

After that....hehe...I continued to dream that I was heavily laying the smooches on this guy, the one who got me "Grover Goes to School,"my favorite childhood book, for christmas. Hmm...it was really intimate too.

Meaning of Dream
To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment.
So at the end of the day, we are left with stealing, pregnancy, and sexxy kisses.

What ya"ll think? :)

When I Grow Up...

2009-01-09T22:52:00.007-05:00

I wanna be just like this lady right there...

Queen Gorgo of Sparta
YO she is one bad bitch. My best friend and I were watching 300 tonight, one of our favorite movies, and we always adore her. Talk about a WOMAN. Her man respected her, her country respected her, and she did what she had to do. She was cut throat in some parts,

Now that's a woman, GOT HIM!!!

& the beginning when she gave her husband the nod to be done with the Persian messenger...yea, I love her. hehe

But besides that, we just did a bunch of running around today. We went to my BFF's job, got some Thai food, bought some stuff from Club Monaco, and ventured home to play

HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Besides the windy ass NYC weather, we had a pretty good time.
Today Was a Good Day!!!

Random Pt....I've lost count!

2009-01-08T22:35:00.005-05:00

The last two days have been really slow over here in NYC...trust me. Therefore, there is nothing eventful to report on. The most exciting thing that happened to me, or lack of was missing out on buying a pink jewelry box at my store which was on sale for 9.00 from 125.00...oh that made me upset.

Today was a day off so I just chilled with my BFF, we're having another one of our sleep overs :-) She is the primary reason I love being home from school.

There are some SERIOUS decisions I've made though but I figure I'll share it with my mom before getting on here and PSAing it. Hopefully she takes it well.

Other than that, just happy to be having a productive New Year thus far and SUPER EXCITED that my Sissy is back, ♥ her.

Oh yea, if you guys haven't heard this song by Bey, check it out it's called

Roc

♥ it. It's so mushy and she even mentions the hubby's name in it. That's a change huh? Just enjoying my new found ability to listen to Sad or mushy love songs and smillleee.

& so It goes...

2009-01-06T22:35:00.004-05:00

So I didn't think I would be using those quotes I posted two days ago this quickly, but here I go. It's officially confirmed. Yes homey is in a relationship and that's that. Sure as hell not gonna spend MORE time of my life chasing after another man, wonder what if, how, when, all that stuff. The bottom line is, "when someone leaves your life they are no longer a part of your destiny," & he is no longer apart of mine. In fact I'm super proud of myself for just asking and now I know for sure.

Besides that...
Just chillin' with my besty, she always makes me feel better.

you guys ever heard this song?

& So It Goes

What I'm currently jamming to. Although it's sad, it always makes me feel better.

Dispite this MINOR set back...2009 is still jamming and I'm still looking forward to it.

This is My Time!

2009-01-04T23:39:00.005-05:00

UPDATE
I found out that "the crush" may actually have a girlfriend. Notice how that crush went into quotes right? If I feel like I am being wronged, my feelings for a person will severely change. Because of this, he may be put on the "People Not Making it into 2009" list. Sure he may have had a few days, but it's never too late for him to get on there. But I've decided it's just best to ask and be sure.

I think it's important for me to speak up. I am not a little girl, I have to take hold of my own life.

I was listening to this preacher tonight on t.v. and he was speaking the truth. Here are a few things he said that spoke to me:

- The people who walk out of your life, let them go. Your destiny is not tied to the people who walk away.

- Too many people are trying to ride a dead horse, dismount.

- Don't try to get people to stay in your life, you're only delaying the inevitable.

- When someone leaves your life, they are no longer a part of your destiny.

- God will give you people who are FOR you not WITH you.

- God will always bring the right people into your life but you gotta let go of the wrong ones to make room for the right ones.

- You don't need people in your life who are enabling a dysfunction.

- You don't need people to do things for you, you are equip

- God will never give you the desire with out the ability.

- Me and God are a majority

He just made me feel so much better. About past situations and about this particular one. I'm able to know that, It's okay to let go of things and with the present situation, if it doesn't go how I would have liked, i can let go of that too.

In addition, i don't need anyone to do anything for me. I GOT It. Like the preacher said, "God will never give you the desire with out the ability."

I feel better already.

Crush On You

2009-01-02T22:06:00.004-05:00

"It's cool, not tryin to put a rush on you
I had to let you know that I got a crush on you."

So ladies and gents, I've got a crush. HAHAHAHA. That's exactly how I feel about it...really smiley. Tryna keep it under wraps though. It's someone I dated in the past for a VERY short period of time. Things kinda fizzled out, don't know why, but I've realized that I still like him.

The problem is, I don't know if he may still feel the same. We still talk on the phone, flirt with each other, and our conversations are sooo stress free, funny, and just a good time. But I dunno.

I really want to put myself out there, but then again I don't. I guess this goes back to my new year's resolution of being more Aggressive.

So right now where we stand is, I like him, don't know if he still sees me that way. I feel like I use to have control of the situation but now I don't any more. Any advice guys and girls

...& In With The New (2009)

2009-01-01T23:24:00.006-05:00

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

This quote really speaks to me, and is exactly how I'm starting my New Year off. This year I'm ready to take all of the opportunities life presents to me. Opportunity for growth, wealth, happiness, love, whatever...I'm paying attention.

I didn't really make any resolutions because I figured, what's the point. I'm not going to make trivial promises to myself like,"I'm not going to curse anymore" or "I'm going to forget about him." It just ain't gonna happen.

So I've decide to be more abstract. This year I can only hope to be a bit more diligent, a lot less superficial, a lot more conscious, and a tad bit AGGRESSIVE. I strongly believe with all of these combined, I can sort of ease out of the troubles I had last year and make my life a much more fulfilling one. I'll be sure to inform you guys on when these particular "state of minds", if you could call them that, come into play.

So here's to a better you and a better me in...

Out with the Old (2008)...

2008-12-31T22:57:00.008-05:00

2008 was an interesting year for me. I can't say it was either good nor bad. I have so much to be thankful for. A wonderful family, great best friends, an education, MY LIFE, and the man upstairs who def loves me.

A few things didn't go so well as you guys may know. I lost the only guy I've ever loved, and I'm still trying to get over that situation. I figure the first step into having a productive 2009 is being honest with myself. & that acceptance is, I still love you!

No not you guys in blog land, well I love you all too, but I mean him...

However, I will be trying a new approach. You guys remember Eb talked about how every year they are people she just doesn't take into the new year, I think I might try that. Some people just belong in the pass and that is where he, & a few others, will stay.

This is the first year is 3 years I'm starting the yr off as a single girl, but that's okay...my momma brought me into the world alone :)

Over all though, thinking positevely, '08 was good to me. I"m still here right?!
& you guys have been awesome. You all helped me get through this year & I've grown to appreciate each and everyone of your blogs in different ways.

see you guys in '09.

So long...

Another Day

2008-12-30T23:43:00.005-05:00

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
--John Burroughs
So like I said in my last post, nothing much happening over here. Just trying to figure my life out, but in a good way.

Thinking about school, jobs, you know that kind of thing. I've been at work everyday for the last 6 days...so that's been that.

But really...I'm just trying to decide how to step into my '09. '08 an interesting one...but we'll talk more about that tomorrow.

How's your final week of '08 coming along?

HAHa!!! Don't wanna take my Christmas play list off...I luvs it :(

The Halo on my Diva!

2008-12-28T20:52:00.004-05:00

Alrighty...

I'm back. Nothing much to share today actually. Just here obsessing over My Bey's new videos
Diva

Halo

I swear I love this girl. She's so Virgolicious in Diva and so girly and youthful in Halo.

Oh yea, seriously if you don't like the videos you're bugging and please please go hate somewhere else..luvs ya hehe :)

EDIT!!!

courtesy of my gurl Cat Hill I was told Ciara made a remix to my Bey's Diva. Here it goes:

major WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C needs to sit her ass down. Don't like it.
okay...I'm done :)

Can you guys tell I'm passionate about my Bey?

The Perfect Christmas Present

2008-12-27T00:46:00.004-05:00

So Christmas was okay. Nothing special really happened until i received the perfect Christmas Present.

Don't really want to get into it yet, but there is this guy I know. Him and I talk quite frequently, let's say everyday, for hours. I remember once telling him that when I was a little girl i got "Grover Goes to School" as a present from a teacher for doing well in all of my classes. It was one of my favorite books and i lost it.

So guess what guys???

this is what he got me for Christmas...

Yep he sure did get me this book. Ahh man. I hate opening presents infront of people because I feel like that's the one time they can tell how I truly feel. I was smiling ALLLLLLLL over the place

Pretty cool guy!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-25T13:13:00.002-05:00

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." - Charles Dickens."

Merry Christmas Blog Fam

& for my sissy:

I expected a google sign that was very Merry Christmas but I guess not sissy. Hope you and the kids are having a very merry one.

Cause I'm Dreaming Pt.2

2008-12-24T17:44:00.002-05:00

Happy Christmas Eve guuuyyss. So much to share with you all as usual. Over the last couple days I've been kinda weird. You know happy, then upset, stressed. I think its all due to the fact that I'm broke. Like dead broke :( Or maybe it's just early PMSing.

With school and work I only make enough to pay for the necessities so shopping has been at an all time minimal.

But anyway last night I had another one of thooossee dreams...

It was super weird.

I dreamt that my bff from high school and I were going to an event. You guys ever seen one of those movies or shows when the kids are in high school and its one of those dances when the girl has to ask the guy but she waits too long, ask later, only to find out that some other girl has asked him? Well my dream was like that.

So my bff and I go to the event. In order to ask the guy, you have to give them a clear gift box with a red bow. My bff gave hers to her real life husband and he accepted it and they were happy.

Get this! My two options was my ex and one of his good friends. This friend of his I swear I am sooooo not attracted to him at all. And no its not on some subconscious shit, I don't like that nig.

So I'm standing there trying to decide who I should give my box to, and after some thought, I gave it to my ex. Except his new GF popped up and put her box in his hand before I could put mine. So I was just like "okay" and moved on to his friend.

But as I was about to give the gift to the friend, his friend's real life gf popped up and gave him her box.

I ran off crying and embarrassed.

A friend of mine analyzed it and I was like,"wow you are awesome."

But what do you guys think this dream could mean?

Besides that...
Today is my munchkin's-the ex's little brother- 3rd Birthday!!!

He's one of those little kids you can't help to love, and he's growing up so fast. Remember when he was just like a day old.

Happy Birthday my Munchkin!

Happy Birthday Mommy!

2008-12-23T01:13:00.003-05:00

12/22/08

Guy's it's my mommy's 40th birthday. I could go on and on about how great she is, but I tell you guys that all the time. So here's a birthday song for my #1 woman by my #2 woman hehe:

♥ u Mommy!!!

Sharing is Caring!

2008-12-19T22:58:00.004-05:00

Quite a bit to share with you guys today!!! Ready?

Girl Meets Boy
Girl meets boy standing on the 1 train platform. Boy starts talking to girl.
Girl finds boy intriguing. Boy takes 3 train, girl takes 2 train. Boy's train
comes first and he opts to not take it and wait for 2 train with girl. 2 train
comes and boy and girl get on together. Boy and girl engage in conversation
about quite a bit. Guy flirts, girl flirts back. Guy and girl cover careers, school, art, locations, and some more on the 15 min train ride. Guy stop arrives and guy says to girl,"nice meeting u!" and slowly but surely exits the train.

WTF just happened? I thought we were connecting? I guess not. Super weird man.
And honestly he seemed like he wanted to ask for the number but something was
holding him back.
Oh wellz...

Scratched out...Erased

So today I'm at work on my Blackberry browsing through Face Book, looking for a friend who happens to have the same name as my ex. A list of all my friends with the same name pops up, but I notice the ex is no longer on the list. I type in his name, and low and behold, that shit straight up read, "You don't have a friend by the name if M*****." First words out my mouth, "oh wow!" He really deleted me as a friend. Let's see, felt bad for .0000000000001 sec then laughed. I told a friend about it, and she said it's probably his girlfriend's doing, I'm like okay, that's immature. Regardless of the fact that we had a relationship, I kept him on there because we still went to high school together and all of my friends on there are people I went to school with since elementary. She- my friend- says it shows he's thinking of you. I say...hope he's not.
Oh wellz...

Christmas gift 2005, Age 18

HEY HEY HEY!!! At that time it was HOT...and everyone wanted one :) & I luved Pink!

Cause I'm Dreaming...

2008-12-18T17:23:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm back and the exam is over. Can't wait until I get that "A" woop woop!!! If I can I'm def taking another class by "chinese kid" again :)

But on to blog stuff. I've been dreaming a lot of crazy stuff lately. Last night I had a dream that my friend's mom died, i was at my ex's house and so was his girlfriend, and some other randomness. OOOKKKAAAAYYY then...

But the night before was even more interesting.

I drempt that I broke my eye glasses!!!

But trust me, they were a lot more shattered than the pic aboove.

I looked it up online, and this is what is said.
To see broken eyeglasses in your dream, indicates that your vision and perception is impaired. You are not seeing the facts correctly

In addition to that dream, I drempt I was interviewing for a job at

Okay, I could care less about Morgan Stanley, but I was excited as hell to be getting the job. i looked that up as well, and this is what it said:

To dream that you are looking for a job, suggests that you are feeling unfulfilled and frustrated in your current phase of your life. If you are applying to several jobs in your dream, then it suggests that you need more direction and clearer goals.

strange huh? DUNNO!

Anyway. I've deciced to reflect on some presents over the years that rocked my world.

Christmas 1997, Age 10:

Time 2 put in Work!

2008-12-18T13:01:00.000-05:00

On my way back to philly to take one effin final for my leadership class. Oh well, gotta do what cha gotta do. It shouldn't be hard at all though.

Wish me good luck!!! :)

My Grown Up Christmas List

2008-12-16T23:59:00.004-05:00

This girl's got expensive taste. I may not want much, but everything I want is pretty darn up there. Check out my
My Grown Up Christmas List!

An I-Touch would be pretty sweet

Some UGGs to keep my toezes warm

Every girl wants Tiffany's ;)

I really wanna be rocking one of these this winter...But I highly doubt it. $1,990.00 Prada Jacket. Maybe something similar?

& hey if Santa Clause Really exist...

My BEEEEEEE LOL

What's on your Christmas List?

My BFF is Better Than Yours!!!

2008-12-12T11:14:00.004-05:00

Today is another day, the beginning of the weekend. Weekends don't really speak to me anymore because I work everyday through them since I have classes during the week.

But anyhow, my bestie and I had lots of fun together, as usual, doing our regular nothing lol.

She came over Wed night. When I got home from school, in Philly, she was sitting in my living room waiting, was SOOOOOOOOOOO excited to see her. We just chilled for the rest of the evening and got ready for our Thursday.

Woke up Thursday morning and it won't stop raining. A little rain couldn't hold us down though, so we journeyed off to her therapy appointment for her back. It's crazy all the things she has to do there, but I'm happy cause she is beginning to feel better.

We then went to her job, she had to get some stuff done there, since her back is messed up and after ventured into the village for some Thai at Prem-on .It's a cool Thai Restaurant we discovered for my 20th Birthday.

Pic came out blurry, but we're power nerds...gotta take our glasses off to eat.

After a Thai lunch in the rain, we ventured off to our play land- Toy R Us- to buy PINK UNO, but they were sold out. I'm obsessed with the Pink Board Games, already have Pink Monopoly. Gonna have a Pink Martini Party, you guys wanna come?

It was pretty much a rap after that, because it wouldn't stop raining. So we just came back to my house, ordered some Dominoes, watched What "Happens in Vegas...", and fell out.

Having a best friend Rocks!!!

P.S. I had mad pics to share but stupid ass Photobucket was acting up...AGAIN!

Random: Pt. Whateva!

2008-12-10T19:23:00.000-05:00

Well December 8th is over and I got through it just fine. I'm really beginning to think I'm getting over him and its a wonderful feeling.

As I type, I'm yet again on my way to NYC. Classes are over for the semester but I still have a few papers to write and a final to take next week. I figure these are all things I can finish up at my home in NY.

I've got a date with my BFF. She hasn't been feeling so well lately, her back is all messed up. With school and everything, I haven't had the opportunity to be there for her so since I finally have some time, we're gonna have a sleep over tonight. Yes we are 21 and 24 and still have sleep overs lol. I'll go to the doc with her tomorrow, and we'll get to spend the day together. At a time like this, I need to be there for her because she is always there for me :)

Besides all that stuff, I'm just here, checking in on you guys. Hope to hear from you all soon.

P.S. Don't you all missy my sissy sexxy luv as much as I do? :/

Happy Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-12-08T00:48:00.003-05:00

LMFAO....so I guess it's a good thing, that as I listen to this song, I laugh. It doesn't despress me at all. I think this kind of behavior warrnts us dropping that 4% to a 3% huh. Maybe not. But Still...

It's the ex's birthday. Surely not gonna call, text, IM, facebook, myspace, or any other form of communication. So i guess I'll vent wanting to say Happy Birthday here in Blog Land.
Happy Birthday Loser...Hope you choke on Birthday Cake!!!

He said...

2008-12-05T22:18:00.007-05:00

... You're the kind of women I want to represent me.

Someone said that to me, can't tell ya'll who hehe, and I thought it to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard. hmmm...

Anyway, I'm just here trying to get by. It's been a loooong week. Trying to wrap up school and it's no joke. 2 presentations, 3 test, four 10 page papers, and two 5 pagers. Man I hardly ever curse but

It's like professors really believe their class is ya world. Why would one person assign a final paper, exam, and presentation. Selfish!!!

Hopefully, I can get some of that done this weekend although I work everyday. I wanna see my bestfriend as well, miss her. Guess we have to see how that goes.

On a brighter note though... I'm about to start on my Christmas List. I love Christmas, don't know where I'm getting these presents from, but hey..I believe in this guy
LOL

off to your blogs I go!!!

Can I Have a Coke Please!

2008-12-02T18:29:00.000-05:00

The little girl sat on her aunt's lap bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Auntie can I have a coke pleaseee," she whined.

Her aunt, only nine years younger than the child, shook her head.
"Your mom said no soda," she said trying her best to maintain a stern voice.

"I won't tell mommy if you don't tell."

She smiled at the child's cleverness.

"Okay. Just this once Ashmalli."

The little girl hopped off her leg, raced to the door, and put on her shoes.

"Ready!"She shouted at her aunt.
*****

The aunt poured the little girl a half class of coke, and began to drink the rest of the drink from the bottle. Seeing this, the little girl knew she needed to have some more. She began to gulp the soda. It burnt her little throat but she didn't stop. She squeezed her eyes together, stomped her little feet, all the while coninuing to drink.
"Ahhh. All done aunty. Can I have some..." But before she could finish the sentence she saw the empty bottle.

Her aunt began to laugh,
"I told you you could only have a bit."

The little girl sighed and shook her head. She had always been taught about greed and today she received the ultimate lesson. Her little soul was grateful.
.
"You're th best aunty, I love you."

"I love you too niece," the aunt replied giving the little girl a hug.

*****

True story ya'll. Even though I'm 21, and my aunt is 30 now. I still look up to her in that way.
Happy birthday aunt Ange!!!

Everything December Holds in Store!

2008-12-01T22:15:00.006-05:00

It's the first day of the month and the last day of the year. This month should be an interesting one...

Oh Yea!!!

- My mom's birthday on the 22nd and she turns a significant age.
- One of my favorite Auntie's Birthday is tomorrow.
- No DUUUHHHHH, Christimas!!!
- My munchkin turns 3- on Christmas Eve- hehe...the ex's little brother. Luvs him :)

Not so hot!!!
-It's the holidays. Either I'm gonna be really happy or really depressed I'm shooting for happy

- My ex's birthday is in a week and I know imma be thinking of it until then.

- Semester wraps up, and this is when things get CRAZY!!!

....Oh December!

REVISED 10 MINS AFTER POSTING!!!
Bump the effin' negatives. I'm so tired of crying, stressin, making a damn fool of myself...over someone who is happy as shit with their new life. Moving onward!!!

Back On My 95% Grind.

2008-11-30T02:15:00.003-05:00

Okay so yesterday I made it seem as though I had a completely sucky day and in all actuality I didn't.

I went to work, and then decided to drop by one of my best friend's house. This particular friends happens to be little cousin to my ex. Every year around Christmas and Thanksgiving she makes this awesome special recipe jello that I love yum yum. So after work yesterday I went to pick up myyyy jello.

When I got there it was her, her mommy-whom I like to call my aunty :)- and her little cousin. Seeing them made me soooo happy because over the last three years they r people I have grown to love.

Anyhow, I got some awesome grub from my aunt, some banging jello from my friend, gave lots of hugs and kisses, and went home.

Once I got there, that's when things fell apart. My friend had told me to watch Neyo's new video "Mad" and that it would make me cry because it made her cry. Here you guys can take a look.

Neyo- Mad

As I started watching the video man I began to cry. The song was sad, the video was heartbreaking, and I felt that 5% creep up on me.

Seeing them, whom I see as family now, just made me miss that part of my life terribly. Pretty much one person ruined it all for me, but I guess he was the most important factor huh? Because they all came with him. Anyway, it is what it is.

"I'm convinced that we black women possess a special indestructible strength that allows us to not only get down, but to get up, to get through, and to get over.”-- Janet Jackson.

5% of the time...

2008-11-28T19:19:00.003-05:00

The 5% has taken me over today...

Don't know what I speak of? Check out November's "The Truth: Part 5... Finale (The Big One)"

Thankies!

2008-11-27T13:02:00.003-05:00

Rest & be thankful."
--William Wordsworth.
Happy Thankgiving Everyone!!!

P.S. 4 the sissy:

hehe

I Think I've Got Heavy Boots!

2008-11-26T14:40:00.000-05:00

"I was afraid the answer would give me heavy boots."
- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foers.

I've got heavy boots or at least I think I do. You guys may or may not have noticed but I haven't been here for a week. I wanted to be, but just haven't been. No particular reason. I suppose I always have time for blogging but I have so much going on in my head. It's why I have heavy boots.

Thanksgiving break from school is finally here and I'm on my way back to my NYC as we speak :) that makes my boots a bit lighter. but the fact that my entire break will be consumed with papers, projects, and work, makes my boots heavy again.

I promise I'm not complaining though. I like being responsible for my own life which can either make my boots heavier or lighter at times.

Have a few things to share with you guys, but next time. Just wanted to show my face :)

P.s. Sissy if you're reading this. WTF!!! Where did u go. You know you're my favorite. Shoot me an email address or something so I don't have to miss u...you being gone makes my boots increadibly heavy :(

I think I'm in Love with...

2008-11-19T21:48:00.004-05:00

John Mayer

Okay, maybe not in love with him, but in love with his music. I've been listening to a lot of his songs lately and seriously they are sooooooo soothing. You know how usually listening to sad love songs has a way of depressing a person? Not with Mr. Mayer's talents. He can sing about heartbreak and soothe the hell out of me.

His music is perfect for going to sleep, studying, and just bring lots of calm to my life. I think I've finally found a favorite male singer.

Here's one of my favorites by the man...

Dreaming With A Broken Heart - John Mayer

& I'm Thankful Pt. 1

2008-11-18T21:23:00.008-05:00

It's Tuesday, and just another day for me. I'm here back in Philadelphia dealing with "the happy family." I just can't be bothered. Just know before this week is out I'm spazzing on somebody.

Remember I said this would be "& I'm thankful" week, well here goes...

& I'm thankful for my mom!

I realize that may seem cliche, but it is what it is. Without my mother, seriously, I don't know where I would be. All my life she has been a single mother struggling to give me the things she NEVER had.

When we migrated from Guyana,SA, she could have left me there as so many parents do. But she wasn't having it. She took me with her. Through out all my schooling so far, she has been there encouraging me even though she didn't have the ed. I'm obtaining. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even be in college because I wouldn't be able to afford it. My mom has used the LAST of her savings for her dream house, to ensure I don't stay out of school not one semester.

Kisses for my mommmy!

There is never a time when I'm in trouble and can't count on my mommy for help. So ya'll better be thankful for her too, because if she wasn't here for me...there would be no A.M. Lol.

Luvs Her!!!

New week...New Topic!

2008-11-17T01:40:00.004-05:00

Truth week went very well. It allowed me to open up a little bit more, helped me to figure somethings out, and brought me closer to you guys. Thanks for all the support you all showed. In fact truth week went so well, I've decided to highlight something else for an entire week. Drum roll please....

This week I will be sharing What I'm most thankful for. By no means is my life a depressing one. We went through my truth week and I highlighted a lot of troubles, but within those troubles, I have a lot of happiness. So sit back, relax, and get ready for, "I'm thankful for...

Besides that stuff, I've been blessed with my big red gift...

And its killing me. My back has been hurting for three days now. No matter how many aspirins I pop, it won't do the trick. Oh well, hopefully only 4 more days to go :/

On another note, I've been reading this book:

I bought it sometime ago and thought it to be hella funny. Every once in awhile I pop it out for pure comedy. It really has some good points though that have worked for me in the past. But who am I gonna try these techniques on???

I know!!!! This guy I met at my job yesterday. Guys, I totally bagged him up lol. We'll call him Mr. Club. He came in earlier in the day, I noticed and tried to help him, but that didn't work. He left, and later came back. After bumping my co worker off the cash reg, speeding through a return so I could have him next, I finally got him. Here goes the convo lol

Me: did anyone help u out today?
Mr. Club: just me.
Me: that's very unfortunate. If I were down there, I would have def assisted u (insert a smile)
Mr: club: yea I know, I was looking for u, but u disappeared.
My manager: you should come work here.
Me: yea you're totally club.
Mr.club: club? What does that mean?
Me: here at Club Monaco we're good looking bunch, and you're very good lucking, you fit the bill. (More excessive smiling) hehe.

This led to some chit chat about me going to school in Philly blah blah blah, him saying we should keep in touch, and me writing those digits down on his receipt. Woop woop. All over one pair of jeans lol. The rest of the people waiting on the line must have been upset...oh wellz lol.

He text me sometime early Sunday afternoon but I never responded because I have this new thing about texting with men. I guess we'll see what happens. Doesn't really matter 2 me though.

Well Its 2am, off to bed I go :)

The Truth: Pt. 5...Finale ( The Big One)

2008-11-15T01:15:00.004-05:00

"I'm No broken hearted girl..."

6 months ago I got out of a 3 year relationship. We started dating the summer after high school and the relationship was an ideal one for me. I fell in love HARD. I just knew he was the perfect one for me, there was no one else I wanted to be with. He understood my point of views, supported everything I did, and respected me and my morals.

So I gave myself over and he was my first in so many ways. The first guy I ever
really loved, the first guy I gave myself to physically, the first guy i truly trusted, the first one to have my heart, and the first one to never gave it back.

There was all this talk-on his part- about being together forever, marriage after college, kids, and then....he dissapeared. And I feel like everything I was looking
forward to was just snatched from me.

I won't pretend like the relationship was a perfect 1 because it was far from
it, in fact we broke up about 5 times during those 3 yrs; always to his wanting
I might add. Its like we would be fine and a week later, he wouldn't want to be
together. And when we saw each other again, it would be " wow ur the one for
me."

Don't even know what thoughts I'm trying to convey to you guys right now, but the pt of the matter is 95 percent of the times I'm fine. When I think of how much he hurt me with his actions I think maybe I am better off and I HATE him. But let me tell you, that other 5 percent of the time is HARD. Those emotions serface every once in a while. And when they do oh man... I'm hurt and can't deny it. I have these dreams of us getting back together, I sit there and sob like someone died, and I just analyze the situation over and over in my head. I ask myself a billion questions.
- How can you love someone and not want to be with them?
- How could he love me so much and replace me in in 3 months?
- How could he replace me with her?'
- How could he not see that we were meant to be...how could he not...

A couple weeks ago while having one of those "5 percent moments" I wrote him an email, which I never sent; thank god. This is truth week so I've decided to share it with you even though it's extremely personal to me:

Today I thought about you, and it made me cry. I've been going around every day for the last five months trying to convince myself that I hate you, that you're the worst person ever, that you don't deserve me.

But today, i realized that I'm so broken. My heart hurts so much. I never ever wanna feel this way about anyone again and don't see how I can. You were suppose to be my special dream come true. I betted everything on you, loved you the only way I knew how, to the best of my ability, with all of me. I shared my entire world with you. Ashmalli was all for M*****. No matter what, I was always willing to stick it out for you because u meant that much to me.

I know you always thought I didn't accept you for who you were. But I did. I loved you and all of your flaws. How could you think differenly? I was ALWAYS there. And now as i replay us over and over in my head, I can only conclude that you simply didn't feel the same about me as I did you. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you make me fall in love with you and then just left me out there? WHY?

I don't know if you'll ever have to experience what you've put me through emotionally but because I love you so much, I hope you don't. It sucks to loose your dream and I wouldn't ever want you to feel that way.

I guess I can only wish you the best
Love,
Ashmalli

Please don't take this as a sign of me being weak. It actually took a lot out of me to write you this.

Good Bye!

Pretty desperate huh? I dunno. I really wanted to send it, thought it would bring me closure, but I was pretty darn scared to.

When I feel like I'm getting over him, I feel guilty. And on those days I miss him, I feel so stupid.

I don't even know anymore. I can sit here and tell myself, "I don't care, I never want to be with him again" but if he asked tomorrow... :/

But that won't happen. I'm sure of it, so...
I am the Broken Hearted Girl...

The Truth: Pt. 4

2008-11-13T23:23:00.000-05:00

I've slighted the ones who really care!

This is neither a comment nor a question, just something that popped up in my mind. Why do woment treat their man better than their friends? Friends are much like a family. Most of the time relationships with friends are lasting ones. No matter how far you may drift apart, you still hold that person in your heart.

But when we get a man, we diss our friends and I know everyone of you is guilty of this,because so am I. You make plans with your girl but your man wants to do something so you either cut the time short or you make up an excuse and off you go to your beau. Its your friends birthday and you can't afford to buy her a gift. However, when your man's birthday rolls around no matter what your financial state of being, you make that watch he so badly wanted happen.

At the end of the day, when things may not have worked out with Mr. Wrong, you run right back to your girlfriends crying, angry, upset, and they are the ones left to pick you up.

On the other hand, a man will not do the same for you. If he made plans to chill with his boys that's just what he's going to do. Why put someone first who is probably only going to temporairly be there.

This is why my notions have changed. I just don't want to be bothered. My family and friends come first because I'm sure of always having them in my life. I'm sure they will always love and support me; after all they've only proven it time and time again. Never again will I stand a girlfriend up, switch up our plans, skim on her gift, Never!!!
The friends I have, they come first...and that's just where I am in my life right now.

The Truth: Pt. 3

2008-11-12T23:57:00.000-05:00

I'm.a freaking punk.I don't like confrontation. Don't know what's wrong with me total opposite of my parents. So its been difficult for me to deal with the room mate situation I told u all about earlier.

Tues morning I'm walking out the door to class and here she comes behind me asking me to use my key because she left her man in OUR house and needed my key to lock the door.

So we're on our way to school together and I thought this would be the perfect time to bring it up.

Me: so tell me if you think I'm being harsh, but I'm tired of seeing your boyfriend everyday.

Her: laughs.

Me: no seriously, I am. I'm only here 3 days out of the wk, we share all the bills, and I can't be comfortable in my own home. You see how u can walk around in your bra? I can't do that because he is ALWAYS here.

Her: but he broke his bed at his. House.

Me: ahh, honestly that's what u said a month ago and that's none of my concern. Do you understand where I'm coming from?

Her: yes. I do

Me: and another thing I really don't like it that he's there when ur not. Like u really left him here that wknd when u went to ny.

Her: but he had to watch the dog.

Me: ummm...couldn't he do that at his house..

Then the conversation just died out. That was tuesday morning and a whole two days later, he is still here. UGH!!! Like right now. Its almost two in the morning and I'm laying here stressed while they are probably happy as hell laying up in her bed. She obviously hasn't made any moves to make me feel comfortable over the last 2 days.
What ya'll think about it?.

The Truth: Pt. 2

2008-11-11T12:58:00.006-05:00

First and foremost, this one is for my sissy:

Ain't it cute! lol

On to truth telling we go...

I'm not as brilliant as everyone presumes me to be.

My entire life I've always been the girl who got good grades in school. For the first ten yrs of my life I grew up with my mom and her 2 sisters so you guys can only imagine all the attention and guidance I got as the only child in my home. I was groomed, disciplined, and always did what I was suppose to.

These women, and it seems everyone else in my life, expect so much of me and the rest-including people in my very own family- are just waiting for me to fail.

My mom, as she says it, is the "black sheep" of the family and honestly of all her brother's and sister-15 of them all together- I'm the only one actually doing what I'm suppose to among the kids.

So at the end of the day I have a great fear of disappointing my mom, letting my family down, and fulfilling the dreams of the Nay Sayers.

Not only that though, I'm well aware that I do just enough to get me by and it makes me sick. If I were more dedicated to my achievements, I would be so better off. Sure I attend a good university and am on track but being average gets you nowhere. I know I can do better and live up to my true potential.

It gets even worst. Lately I've been feeling lost. As a little girl I always wanted to be a lawyer. But as high school rolled around I decided journalism was the way to go because I loved that too. All through out college I knew this was what I wanted to do. Now that senior year is here, I'm confused. WTF!! Should I go to law school next year? Politics is so much fun. I'm very much so interested in government. Should I get a masters in English? Should I go to grad school for journalism? Ugh!!! I need some guidance. Maybe I'm just scared. Actually, I am scared.

The Truth:: Pt. 1

2008-11-10T21:26:00.000-05:00

I'm a lonely person. Not just some of the times but most of the times. The sad part is, I've always been lonely, for years now.

I spend so much time talking in my head because there is no one to talk to. When I'm away at school I wake up, go to class, get done what I need to, and then go home. I'm always by myself.

Holidays are the worst time ever, in fact I'm dreading thanksgiving and christmas. My family consist of myself and my mom. Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful for her...but the events of it all just isn't cheerful. Then I'm left to think of all the happy people I know and how much of a good time they are having with their families. On these days I seriously lay in bed all day just waiting for the day to pass.

I'm lonely because I am alone... and I don't know what I need or what will make it or me better.

MAJOR VENT!

2008-11-10T00:12:00.005-05:00

Okay before I get to all my truth telling, I gotta vent some. Men are sooo retarded.

Guy #1
He's an Eagles' fan, I'm a Giants' fan. He's a man so obviously he's waaaayyy more into football than I am. I support the Giants because they are my home team. I may not watch all the games, I may not know the names of all the players, but I do keep tabs on them. So this guy was sure that the Eagles were gonna win tonight and I told him, "nah homie sit down, my GIANTS have got this all the way."

Needless to say I was right. So I straight gloated on his ass like us girls do. You know "hahhaha!!! your team sucks, they lost at their home field. Told you I was gonna win...hahhaha you lost!!"

Then homey really got upset like "name five players on the team." Umm seriously I have to prove nothing to no man but my home boy Jesus upstairs. Told him he needed to fall way back. Here he goes with the "well you're a fake fan, you just joined the ban wagon because they won the super bowl," yea whatever homey.

So I had to tell him like it was. You can try to get me upset all you want, you can hang up, be a jerk but after all that ya still got ya ass wooped, by my team, in ya home stadium...then I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF some more.

Then he was like, "good night."
My response: PEACE
what a dumb ass!!!

Guy #2
He's all upset because I called him today to ask if he called me last night after our visit. He said yes it was from his house phone, my response:
"oh cool alrighty just wanted to see who the number belonged to and I thought it might have been yours"
Him: you not even gonna ask how I'm doing?
Me: No! Bye

Called him back tonight and he's all like, he doesn't want to talk to me because of the way I acted earlier. Whatever dude.

Okay so I know that was a bit mean but WTF ever, he deserves it much. I hate guys like him. We dated each other through out the summer, he made me like him HARD, and then fell back... REALLY REALLY hard. The comments he would make made me think, "wow he thinks he's got me wrapped around his finger."

Sorry I've done it before and I WILL NOT do it again. Why should I be feaning for someone who isn't feaning for him, and that's exactly what he wants. When I was nice to him it got me nowhere. Now that I'm on my "I don't really care" biz...he wants to be upset

UGH!!! this is why I'm single and plan on keeping it that way for a LONNNGGG time to come. It's all about me, and I don't wanna even bother to care about U. Men!!!

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth!

2008-11-09T18:50:00.000-05:00

When it comes to my thoughts displayed on paper, I like to keep them nicely organized. But not this time...I just wanna let it go. So I have decided to create truth week here on A.M. In Everyday.

Please don't be mistaken, I do type the truth, and share with you all everyday. However, sometimes I may glide over my feelings. Not truly exposing myself. Maybe its from the fear of being looked upon as weak or desperate. Maybe I'm afraid you guys will truly tell me how you feel.

That's okay though :) I've grown to appreciate you all and your blogs in my own way. I've always respected your truths and I'm sure you will be able to do the same for me.

This week will be a chance for you to get to know me a little bit better. Most importantly, this week will hopefully help me to sort through who I am, accept my feelings, and move on.

Welcome to truth week!!!

Me, him, her, and the dog!

2008-11-07T10:53:00.000-05:00

Its Friday and I'm on my way back to NYC as we speak blogging via blackberry. Seriously, I'm dumb annoyed.

I really need your advice on this one so pleasseee read the entire thing.

I live in a two bedroom apartment with what I thought would be just my roommate and I. We both go to the same university, knew each other from high school. So its convenient. We split the rent, cable, and electric evenly. Back in August she told me she would be babysitting a dog a few days a week would that be okay? I said fine because I like doggies. Turned out to be her dog which lives with us. Don't really have a problem with it because I like the little thing but still why did she have to lie?

Whom I do have a problem with is her boyfriend. He is a cool guy but he is ALWAYS at my house no lie 7 days a week. One weekend she went home to NY for the entire weekend, I come home and here he goes.
Me: where is T?
Him: she went home to NY
Me: so what r u doing here? Him: watching the dog.

WTF!!! Can't u take the dog to your house. Then he goes, " I'm leaving, I may or may not be back." And strolls out the house with her key which she left him. I left the house for one second to go visit with the girls upstairs, he locked the door. I had to call her all the way In NY to tell her to tell her BF to open my fucking door. Then he has to nerve to say, "I thought u were going home." Nigga (and I never use that word, so u know I'm pissed) I am home, I pay the bills here not you."
I came home wed night from NY, there he goes again.
ME: Where is T?
Him: somewhere doing a project.

So I just migrated to my room. I feel like I can't be comfortable in my own house because he is there all the time when she is or isn't there. She walks around in her bra and stuff...I wanna be comfortable like that too. But ofcourse she can do that because its her man and I'm another girl. I can't do that cause he is always there. If I'm dressed skimpy in my room, I always have to put on extra clothes just to walk to the fridge or bathroom. I've had company over but best believe they leave when I do.

I don't wanna come off like I'm hating or being a bitch, and I know I have to keep in account that she also lives and pay bills there too. Things between us have been fine since we moved in and I don't wanna cause a strain. I'm not even there all week. I go home to NY friday mornings and come back Monday night. Therefore, I'm really only there 3 days a week. And for those three days I wanna be comfortable.
THIs IS WHERE U GUYS COME IN!!! what do ya'll think I should do that's reasonable for us both?

P.s. Ladies he even leaves my toilet seats up and empties my ice trays...ugh!!!

Yes We Can & Yes WE DID!!!

2008-11-05T00:51:00.004-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of blogland, I introudce you to the new president of the United States of America:
Barack Obama!!!!

Here's to a better you, a better me, a better America!!!
My President is BLACK bitches!!!

Today is The Day...Vote Obama!!!

2008-11-04T11:41:00.004-05:00

I've already Ba-Rocked it...& If you haven't... WTF R U WAITING FOR???
No job, class, or other obligation should be keeping you back from doing this. I actually had a 10 am lit class, where this dude is like, "voting is not an excuse for missing class." R U SERIOUS? & let my Barack down? I think not!

The experience was simple enough. I went, long line, but it was worth it a million times over...and it was literally a 10 min walk from my house. There was no excuse :)

Happy Voting my Lovelies!!!

P.S. Everytime there is a holiday, I go to google to seee what the sign will be because they are usually so creative.

hehe..the election day one is adorable:

Vegas...What a memory!

2008-10-30T09:57:00.005-04:00

So I know I just posted a few moments ago, but I really like this song, feel like it's the story of my life...

Mariah Carey-I Stay in Love

I likey the video. You know why? You know why? because it was shot inVEGASSSS BABY!!!!

I almost screamed when I saw the fountains at the Bellagio at the beginning. & the video was shot at The Bank- 50's club , which was the 1st club I visited in Vegas. . It was our least favorite though

Ahh...the memories...

On another note: still can't believe she married that fool Nick Cannon. SMFHH

Beauty Good Morning!

2008-10-30T09:20:00.003-04:00

Okay so, I'm walking to class this morning & my mommy calls me.

Mommy: beauty good morning
Me: Hi mommy
Mommy: On your way to class?
Me: yep! what cha doing?
Mommy: I had a dream about you last night... you were pregnant!
Me:(heart skips about 10 beats) ewww...gross.
Mommy: you coming home today?
Me: yea...maybe. I'll call u after class...
Mommy: okay, bye.

Alrighty, if I'd been behaving myself lately I'd have nothing to worry about...but since I haven't...SMH. I'm super paranoid about things like that, and since my mom brought it up, not I'm super scared ugh.

See what happens when you don't do what you're suppose to