1st Day of School- Super Stressed!!!

This is what I wanna know...why does something that's so necessary-I'm speaking of a college education- cost soooooooo much. I am so stressed, I have this huge ass pimple growing out of my chin.

To make a long story short, I didn't pay my bill from spring semester so I had to do so today in order to sign up for classes. I finally payed that one off, only to have the one for this semester pop up right in my face. OMG!!! WHYYYYYYY. Every thing cost so much. I have no idea why kids wanna grow up. Gotta pay for school, rent, books, food(if I Don't wanna die) every fucking thing. I've been running round Philadelphia all day like a mad woman tryna straighten my life out. At least I got myself into 6 classes ( an overload semester) which is most important. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow, I will be able to tell you guys about what I'm taking this semester.

This one's kinda short because the computer lab at school is about to close and I don't have cable and Internet in my apartment yet. Ugh, what am I gonna do? HW!!! More ugh. I miss my NYC! :(

This is Exactly How I Feel!!!

Like I'm Bout 2 EXPLODE!!!

I've Got a Problem!

Okay so here it goes. My mom and her sister don't talk at all. If you ask me what the problem is, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Really I just think it's some stupid shit.

Anyhow, my mom has done so much for my aunt since she is the baby of the family. My mommy has taken her in, supported her, you know...treat her as a big sister should treat her little sister.

But like I said before, they don't speak to each other. I think it may sadden my mom so she made an attempt to call my aunt the other day. I guess she started the conversation off by saying her B-day was coming up soon and she was interested in renting out my aunt's boyfriend's club for it. She then moved into information about her resent marriage engagement.


A few hrs. later I get a call from my aunt. Here goes the convo:

Aunt: hey Ashmalli
Me: oh hey auntie ange, wats up?
Aunt: your mother called me today.
Me: really...that's nice.
Aunt: I don't know why she feels the need to call me.
Me: ahh, maybe she just wanted to talk.
Aunt: Yea, she was talking about her bday and her marriage engagement and really I don't care because i don't want to be apart of her life.
Me: (gettin' kinda tight)...ahhh so exactly what do u want me to tell her?
Aunt: If she needs the club, it's a business she doesn't need to call me and about her engagement, i don't really care. I don't want to be in here life right now.
Me: (officially tight as hell) Ahh..I'm gonna go now...my phone is dying. CLICK!

HOW DARE SHE?

So after i told my mommy and daddy all of this, they feel as though I shouldn't speak to my aunt anymore because after all, my mom was only trying to be nice and according to my mom, "you came from me and if anyone had a problem with your mom then you shouldn't wanna be nice to them."

But at the end of the day, she is my aunt and I'm not that type of person. Ya know? Like I couldn't just cut her off like that.

So I'm kinda lost as to what I should do. I have a 21st B-day dinner coming up and of course my mommy is gonna be there. I really wanted to invite my aunt but because of her present behavior I'm thinking I may not be able to.

so the question is:

Should I diss her because she played my mother HARD, or should I continue on with our aunt/niece relationship?

Everything!

SO I haven't written in awhile because things have been kind of crazy. Probably way too much to write but here goes everything. Let's see. Different aspects of my life would include school, my job, family, friends, and the boyfriend. Believe it or not people, I'm having problems with EVERY aspect I just listed.

Let's start with school. Obviously it is the end of the semester and I am so backed up with work it's not even funny. Papers to write, finals to take, OMG when will it all end. I know, i know, it sounds like I'm complaining but after 3 yrs of college, I swear I never get use to this end of semester madness. But of course everything seems more difficult because...

The boyfriend is acting up. Yea, I'm putting it out there. Hey, we all have ways in which we express our feelings, and this just happens to be mine. After almost three years of the going back and forth he has decided this just isn't working. Isn't it crazy how it takes two people to get into the relationship but just one to get out of it? You have no say, how you feel doesn't matter. All you can do it accept the fact that the person you know deep down inside is meant for you, can't see the real truths. & the hardest part is after trying about 4 times to make things work you know the LOGICAL thing to do is to let go. That's what men do, think "logically." But it's difficult when your heart tells you, letting go isn't the way to go. It's all way too difficult. So...you folks could only understand the type of stress I'm under. & Really this seems to be ruining other parts of my life too...i.e. my job.

The other day because I was having a discussion with him about the relationship, I totally missed work which I thought would be okay at the time. I mean come on, I personally believe nothing at Club Monaco is more important than me doing what I think is more important for me. But not only that, my boss be trippin'. Yep I said it. That chick is crazy. She obviously thinks I'm not doing a good job there which is blowing my mind. I mean I did wonderfully on my appraisal, got a raise a month ago, but yet I'm not doing well. tsk tsk. It's okay though, I can handle her.

Oh yea, so I guess I exaggerated. My friends are the shit and I don't know where I would be without them :) and my family is quite the supportive bunch. I guess I just wanted to get it all out and hopefully I'll be back soon with more positive post.

On a brighter note, Happy Mother's Day to all of the mommies out there :)