Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Question Unanswered (Reposted)

So the last time I posted this, no one ever really came to my blog and I kinda really wanna know what people out there this is Questions Unanswered (reposted).

I tell you being a girl is tough business. So so much to go through. I think I'm finally ready to ask that question. So far this summer I've been going through a world wind of emotions. First I kinda lost the 1st guy I've ever seriously loved but I guess everyone has to go through that, so what made me think I could escape it. With that notion, I've been trying to look at things on the bright side because really him and I are just not meant to be. Not tryna play him in the least bit, but he's the most selfish person I've ever met. Which leads to my Questions Unanswered.

Can you love someone and not want to make the relationship work?

- I know people have different notions but I personally believe it's not possible. I'm an only child & I have been for all my life now. I am probably one of the most selfish people you will ever come across (no worries I'm working on it). I usually just think about me, what makes me happy, all that jazz. But with this guy, I was never like that. I loved him so much I put my selfishness aside. I put a lot of effort into the relationship. I planned everything, made all arrangements, all he had to do was show up and he could hardly do that. Puzzling part is, he goes around telling everyone he loves me and we just can't work because he can't give me what I need. Mind you, I like pretty things, but I like to get them for myself so that was never an issue. He meant emotionally. WTF! So I pose another question to you fine blogging folks...

If you really and truly love someone, wouldn't you WANT to give them what they want? At least that's how I felt about him. I was always there...

Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place-that is how the saying goes right?
I'm not so trusting of guys anymore, but I guess that's for the best. I swear everyone thinks they got game. But behind this mini essay I just wrote my questions really are:

-If you love someone, wouldn't you want to give them what the need?
- Can you love someone and not want to make the relationship work?

8 inspirations:

DetroitRockCity said...

*first timer*

let me take a stab at the questions

-If you love someone, wouldn't you want to give them what they need?

My answer would be from personal experience is that how would I know what the other person needs if they don't tell me. Also, what one thinks they need isn't really that necessary, but you think you need it so bad that you are blinded, when really you don't need it at all. You just WANT it.

- Can you love someone and not want to make the relationship work?

With me and my ex, I love him to death, but I'm looking for long-term, and in that aspect we wouldn't work because he doesn't believe in God. That's something that I can't allow in a relationship, and it would be an honest wate of time to try.

Soulstress said...

Hey..I'm a newbie. I'll put my 2 cents in hehe:

**I agree a lot with the previous comments**

I think u can def love someone but not want to make it work, if you believe in the longrun things wont work out, or if ur lookin for sumthin diff't than they are, or if u believe in ur heart that the person will eventually hurt you (again), or if they are currently hurting you and you cant take it anymore.

If I loved sum1 and they werent meetin my needs/ wants, I'm a tough cookie so I mite be spiteful and not give them everything they wants. Which means we'd be goin nowhere but its possible lol. And just bcuz u love someone doesnt mean u have to bend over backwords for they believe they need. Compromise is the key.

Judy D. said...



i think that guys love differently.

plus! living in new york makes me realize how hard lovve is because temptation is sooo easy!

TimahTimah said...

Ashmalli!!! It's Timah! If you love someone you most definitely wanna give them what they need BUT one can't expect their significant other to just know what they need. You can hint but if they're just not getting it you must spell it out for them. And guys hardly ever know what their girls need but once we've told them and still no change then there's a problem.

Idk about the 2nd has me thinking....I would feel how could you love me but not do the things to make us work but then u can love someone but not want to be with them.

btw loving the blog I'll be visiting......

A.M. said...

Hey guys...thanks for the insight. I think I must clarify. He knew what I needed, attention. That's it. Not massive amounts of attention just stick to our plans. That was the major part. He blew our plans off allllllll the time. So I guess what I was really just trying to say was...if you you love someone sooooooooo much and care about them so much why would u constantly screw them over. I was very clear about what I wanted out of the relationship & so was he...until he screwed it up. Oh wellzzzzz...

Andre said...

Just because people love each other, doesn't really mean they should be together, love is only half the battle! There's so much more to a relationship.

Like I damn near love a girl in jacksonville florida, but I wouldn't want a relationship with her cause
1. I've got a lurstful heart and I don't wanna cheat on her and
2. I'm in Va she's in Fla.

Sometimes what they need isn't what they want... like needing to hear the truth. And that in itself causes problems...

A.M. said...

Thanks for the input Andre :) & yes, this is an opinion I'm slowly beginning to realize quite a few men share. My ex use to say that all the time, "you know just because two people love each other doesn't mean they belong together."

I don't buy it. Maybe I will one day, but as for now...I don't. Of course it would seem that way when both people don't give their all to the relationship. Hmph

B.Price said...

Being that it's my first time in your blog I want to say hello, and that I really like your site here. I will be adding you to my reader and hope to keep up with the posts/comments.

-If you love someone, wouldn't you want to give them what they need?

Yes, you would. However it depends on the type of person you in question are....if you are a selfish/self indulged individual then as much as what you'd might want to give them what they need, they will always come secondary to your own. But it seems like you already know that.....The other thing with this is perhaps the person who is loving you doesn't know how to give you what you need, or doesn't want to put in the work to do give you what you actually need.

- Can you love someone and not want to make the relationship work?

No, real love doesn't exhibit this characteristics. The only time you do that is when you really don't want to be with the person, but you don't want to be alone/what the milk without taking care of the cow....or perhaps when you are creepin' on that person. But again, love can't exist in that realm. If he says he loves you, then he's lying, or isn't "in love" with you.

Big difference with loving someone vs. being in love with them.