On to truth telling we go...
I'm not as brilliant as everyone presumes me to be.
My entire life I've always been the girl who got good grades in school. For the first ten yrs of my life I grew up with my mom and her 2 sisters so you guys can only imagine all the attention and guidance I got as the only child in my home. I was groomed, disciplined, and always did what I was suppose to.
These women, and it seems everyone else in my life, expect so much of me and the rest-including people in my very own family- are just waiting for me to fail.
My mom, as she says it, is the "black sheep" of the family and honestly of all her brother's and sister-15 of them all together- I'm the only one actually doing what I'm suppose to among the kids.
So at the end of the day I have a great fear of disappointing my mom, letting my family down, and fulfilling the dreams of the Nay Sayers.
Not only that though, I'm well aware that I do just enough to get me by and it makes me sick. If I were more dedicated to my achievements, I would be so better off. Sure I attend a good university and am on track but being average gets you nowhere. I know I can do better and live up to my true potential.
It gets even worst. Lately I've been feeling lost. As a little girl I always wanted to be a lawyer. But as high school rolled around I decided journalism was the way to go because I loved that too. All through out college I knew this was what I wanted to do. Now that senior year is here, I'm confused. WTF!! Should I go to law school next year? Politics is so much fun. I'm very much so interested in government. Should I get a masters in English? Should I go to grad school for journalism? Ugh!!! I need some guidance. Maybe I'm just scared. Actually, I am scared.